My Aunt Deanna, middle, I, left, Susan, my Cousin Mick’s wife, right
Dipped my toes in the warm Pacific Ocean at Seaside last weekend and spent some special times with aunt Deanna from Brazil. Even though I still had the emotional impact left over when I lived with my mom, who was Aunt Deanna’s sister, and the feelings I faced with mom’s suicide in the month of February, which still needs to be resolved, I felt healed in my aunt’s presence. I was looking forward to another year of creativity and inspiring, and more rainbows to catch and dreams to come true. I requested the sun for my birthday this February and got it. Being near God and nature at the ocean where I visit each year on my special day, helps me to work out my problems and to reach a better state of mind, as I live with the disease of schizoaffective disorder. I seem to be doubly affected by grief and paranoia in February. But, my mom has been gone for twenty-seven years. Many questions were unanswered, yes. Yet, twenty-seven years is along time. And certainly I don’t have the same reaction to her death as I did when she died. I have grown and changed, and I found a good medication that works in my system. I think clearly, remember the good and bad, and rationalize well. Right now, I have the best of both worlds, (a husband, support system, and doctors), and I must give myself a brake. The past is past. I want to help people be better and at the same time keep well myself. This is the best anniversary I celebrated in a long time.
Me turning 67
Arts and Writing by Sherry 