Paranoia, Schizoaffective Disorder Meditation Tape
Regarding my article,”Bringing Peace and Happiness to the Psych Ward.”Here, my husband Joe and I are dining at the Taco House, just taking it easy. It seems like the less I think about the past incidences and my insecurities of life, the better off I am. A week prior, I was having paranoid thoughts because I was in conflict with another woman. At night, I was tossing and turning, questioning- maybe she is right and maybe I’m not good enough? But that is a good thing- maybe. I laid flat on my bed, arms out to the side and said, “I’ll just die.” “I surrender.” My main support, my sister, was in Mexico watching whales give birth. I couldn’t vent to her, and my husband was tired of going around in circles with me about my paranoia. He was worn out by the end of the day. (I still have paranoia, and the medicine helps some, but I need to do the work myself, even though it makes my head silly.) I haven’t felt this insecure and less confident in a long time. I reached for my Louise L. Hay Self-Affirmation tape which I hadn’t played in awhile- “You are good enough the way you are, you let go of tension, you release the need for this condition in your body,” I repeated after listening to her words. It gave me a perspective on life. I found out after playing the tape, that I could make it after all. No more downing myself. I would get the situation resolved and write myself out of my faulty thinking. So, I aggressively wrote what was ailing me and put the good and bad thoughts into perspective. I weighed both sides and discovered the reward of bringing myself to reality. Tomorrow would be another day, and there would be problems to work out, paintings to paint, people to give speeches to, and family and loved ones to enjoy. I’m looking forward to many more days of taking it easy with my husband, Joe, and just letting go. I have so many psychological tools that I love, that will help me get through. In referring to my article, “Bringing Peace and Happiness to the Psych Ward,” I have found the peace and love that resonates in my mind, and I am set free by helping people suffering with mental conditions as I lecture in a psych ward. To feel free with your thoughts and be free in your mind is one of the greatest gifts you can have.