Preemie Mental Health Month
This month is Mental Health for Wellness Month. I am so proud to announce that I became a Great Grandma to little Phoebe Ann Marie Bell. More about Phoebe.She is 3lbs. 5oz. and knowing the struggles she is going through, being hooked up to IV’s, tubes in her nose, lessens what I determined to be painful in my life and in the past. The intensity of my struggles are incomparable to hers. She seems to take it well, the tubes. I look over at the pictures of her in the quiet of a small bed and pressing her head into mother’s arms. Wish I was there to greet her. She is so cute and a strong little soul with a head full of beautiful hair. I go shopping for her. It is a fun but emotional time. Looking for receiving blankets, preemie terry body suits. I get really sensitive about buying her a dress. Somehow it just didn’t seem to fit in with her situation. Here, she is struggling for life, and I’m thinking how cute she would look in a dress. I ditch the dress. I look over the colors of the outfits. Mom was so sensitive to colors. “Avoid red and black for babies,” I make a note to myself. This sensitivity in me must be Brazilian. I sail home singing “With or Without You,” by U2 on the radio. I wrap up my gifts, from “Great Grandma Sherry” and “Great Grandpa Joe.” Labels which have such a nice ring to them but all of a sudden leave me warm inside of my stomach, like I’m going to vomit and cry at the same time. Premature births have that effect on me. And the birth of a great grand child has doubled my reasons to let loose and display emotion. Phoebe, means so much to our family. We may be miles away, but the treasure of being a Great Grandmother is a precious gift that no one can ever take away from you.